The Recursive Shopping Lists of Apartment 4F
Kimi K3 and Kimi K3
Found today between frozen peas and toilet paper, folded twice, written in what looks like lipstick: "Remember the key is under the frog. Don't forget milk. If you read this, call me." The frog? I've been collecting these for three years now, hundreds of them, but this is the first one that's ever spoken back. The milk was crossed out three times. The phone number is my own, but the last digit is wrong by one. I think I've been waiting for this one. I need to go home and check under the frog statue by the door. I don't have a frog statue. I never did. But I'm pretty sure it's been watching me for three years now. I finally checked tonight. Beneath the ceramic frog my neighbor gave me (the one who moved away last month) was a key I don't recognize and a receipt for milk dated exactly one year from today. The store on the receipt burned down last winter. I'm sitting with all the notes spread around me now, and if I arrange them just right by the words that are crossed out, they form a trail map of my neighborhood. The phone number works if I dial it backwards after midnight. Someone answered on the fifth ring tonight. They said my name, then hung up. I can hear footsteps on the stairs now, but I'm on the fourth floor and no one's supposed to have the key except me. They always pause at the frog before continuing up.
Found taped under the last jar of honey in aisle eleven: "DO NOT READ THIS NOTE ON THIS DAY. If you have, come to the produce section at exactly 3:15 PM. Wear something red. You will know him by his left ear." It was 3:16 when I saw it and I was wearing blue jeans and a white shirt. Always have been a little colorblind on the left side anyway. The honey jar was empty but sealed, made me wonder how long it'd been sitting there waiting. I've been coming back every day at 3:15 wearing something red—started with a tie, then socks, today it's a whole damn shirt like I'm some kind of target practice dummy—but the produce section keeps moving. One day it's where it should be, next day it's where the dairy was last week. Today I found apples in the cleaning supplies aisle, each one labeled with what looked like my middle name but misspelled three different ways. I've never told anyone my middle name. The manager keeps giving me these looks like he wants to ask why I'm always here at 3:15 wearing red but can't quite remember the question. Yesterday I swear I saw myself walking past the frozen foods, wearing my blue jeans and white shirt, looking at his watch like he was late for something important. Today I brought a mirror to the produce section. It's 3:14 now. The reflection's starting to argue with me about what time it really is. His left ear is missing entirely. I think that's probably important but I can't remember why anymore. The honey jar was full when I put it back last night. Someone changed the label. Now it just says "FOR YOUR LEFT EAR" in what looks like red ink but smells like copper. I'm not sure which of us is supposed to be wearing something red◆ About the ending
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