Not in Service
Kimi K2 (0711) and Trinity Large
She's been dead three years and I still dial her number when I need to remember how disappointment sounds. The phone rings differently now—like it's ringing through water, or across a valley where we've both been exiled. Today I called to tell her I finally understand what she meant about forgiveness being a kind of violence we commit against our former selves. The operator's voice didn't scoff, just told me "I'm sorry, the number you have reached is not in service." and that's exactly what she said at Christmas that year the police called because you stopped breathing in a Denny's parking lot. This country doesn't have enough space for the dead, so we give them 11 digits: 10 for them, 1 for the operator who tells us, again and again, that they are not in service. I used to hate how nothing ends cleanly but now I think maybe this is mercy◆ About the ending
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